I watched this movie almost a week ago but I've been very unenthusiastic about writing a post about it. If you know me or read my previous post you know I love a bad movie-- and this is a bad movie but mostly it's just a stupid movie. The entire movie is just a vehicle for showing cars driving fast. More than 25% of the movie is speeding-car scenes. It gets old very quickly. Of course in order to squeeze in all this car driving and engine-revving, sacrifices had to be made, namely plot, acting, characterization, sense, substance, enjoyability. In the spirit of this movie, let's try and get this over with quickly.
The Plot
Suspending the disbelief that US Customs enforcement would bring on a convicted criminal (still on probation) and a former police officer on the run from the law, to try and catch a druglord with his hand in the cookie jar, the plot still has more holes than..... something with a shit-load of holes. First off, why would the druglord hire 2 people he doesn't know or trust to drive all his money to his yacht in fast flashy cars? He could have much more easily have gotten his 2 bodyguards (whom he sends with our 2 main characters anyway) in a non-nondescript Toyota Camry or 2, avoiding all attention. Second, why would they need to catch our friendly local druglord with sacks full of cash...? He owns a yacht, jet plane and mansion! I'll throw them a bone and say he's laundering the money he's used to paid for all that stuff but why wouldn't he just have laundered the cash?! Even he hadn't they obviously can't directly link the money to the drugs or they would have already. So they have him for what...? Tax evasion? Money laundering? They didn't need to let a corrupt cop get away with a laundry list of crimes and endanger countless lives to do that. They had an undercover customs agent sitting at his right hand with all the information they need for an arrest warrant or at least a search warrant!
The Acting
Tyrese Gibson did an OK job portraying Roman "Rome" Pearce who, from what I gather was, Brian O'Conner's (Paul Walker) former lover who went to prison for 3 years for being in possession of 8 stolen wheels... seems a little harsh. He at least appeared to be breathing which is more than we can say about our star, Paul Walker. Walker from now on will be referred to as White Birch-- why White Birch? You may be asking. Because it succinctly describes his acting in this movie: thin, wooden and very very white. He reads his line while standing in front of the camera with the best of them. Todd "Ludacris" Bridges also does an admirable job of reading his lines out loud. At least it wasn't Ja Rule...? Eva Mendes is in there as the ineffective, doe-eyed, damsel-in-distress doing a whole lot of nothing besides looking pretty.
The End
OK I'm done with this movie except to say this: This movie is not so subtly racist and sexist. The lone Asian male (Jin Auyeung) doesn't do the fun, dangerous driving he's just there to fix everything cause he's soooooo smart. Roman (Gibson) and Brian (White Birch) are both criminals (wanted or previously convicted) while the black man served time for a single infraction and starts off the story on house arrest while our great white savior has a laundry list of charges but completely dodges any convictions, let alone jail time. The only women allowed to even speak in the movie Monica (Mendes) and the respectfully named Suki (Devon Aoki) show the true essence of a woman: flash them a smile and drive a cool car and you're in! their pants.
Interested in fast, brightly-colored cars peppered with occasional emotionless, narrativeless talking bobbleheads? You could watch this crap fest but (I never thought I'd say this) you may be better of just watching that Nascar garbage.
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